Isnin, 9 Disember 2013

Unproductive Holiday

"Teman datang dan pergi. 
Hati bersepah dengan memori. 
Hujan berbicara dengan ku, 
pesannya agar ku berdiri." - Hampir, Hujan

Dear me,

Please stop yourself from daydreaming. Nothing good comes up with it. You are over-thinking. Being in love? Getting married? You're way to far for it. Don't even dare to dream of it. Your responsibilities towards yourself and your parents still out of your hands. And now, you're thinking about marriage?

Spending your hours like water. Doing nothing except eating, cooking, and sleeping won't make you a better person. How much did you recites al-Quran today? How many time you recites dzikir today? You're way to far for anything. Stumble on the road. Alone. Hoping that some come and pull you out of this routine. Hoping that someone give you a slap so you will realize you're not a kid anymore. Keep a distance from everyone else, so no one will bother you, but the truth is you're lonely. It sounds pathetic.

The reality is too cruel to you?

Yes it is. Don't you know how many time this world is trying to kill you? Don't you know how many time you falls and  how many time you being stabs from behind? Still don't remember? Now bear it in your mind. Even you thinks you're okay for being alone, away from everyone else. Actually you not. You keeps telling lies to yourself, but actually you're scared. Yes you are!

Scared -
to belief in anyone; that why you never tell anyone the ugly part of you.
to being in love; even you dreams for it but you scares to get hurts.
to be yourself; which you acts like a little girl who's need her mummy besides.

You're just a big fish in a small pond, but this here is the ocean and you're drowning.

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